ep5

Sometimes when the rain falls into my heart and fragments of the past are covering my mind Long corridors, tall men, white robes, clean and glaring, in the air, a smell of fear I was longing for you Would you hold me? I never ever hold someone like you Am I good enough, am I worthy, would you comfort me? I can’t remember, I can’t remember any time that I was close to you, was I ever close to you? I took it from the tapestry from this animal scenery I gained all my hope and faith from a tiny yellow dog on the wallpaper  I was longing for you Patterns of bold color, serene  a unique embrace transformed this space into a dream They brought him in with a long scar on his chest with an undefined smile he whispered to me Hey guy, you will be next

I walk down the street, lost in my thoughts spaced out and blind for the world around me my head is a mess, thoughts won’t slow down spinning around like a scratched record a symphony of chaos a frantic yelling of a thousand voices, thousand voices in my head telling me a thousand stories about good and bad like a lullaby my mind lulls me to sleep and I walk and I walk and I don’t know where to go always powered by the hopeful lie that is just around the bend with a 1000 stories in my mind about you and me something happened on that old street one day it never happened ever to me before for the first time I realize that I’m here on this street complete here with my feet on the ground How could I ever oversee such a fundamental reality a direct perception of the world inside and outside of me and beauty everywhere and that man driving by with his bicycle look he shines and then time stops and deep inside of me everything is quiet shine my love and all my fears, all my fears are gone and no stories about tomorrow and the past and all the fairytales and lies a told to myself it all disappears it all disappears and no illusions and delusions anymore and no lies about you and me I walk down the street, I’m lost in my mind again with a faint memory of who am I

oly man tell me what’s going on in this world do you know why I feel so alone explain to me is there a god above can he fill the void in my heart oh my friend sit down next to me just for a little while and breathe with me and listen to what comes up inside the truth is in you you are not alone holy man what you’re talking about, it makes no sense to me at all you say I’m blind so help me to find whatever this means or lead me to your promised land (or send me tears from heaven may I’m able to weep) I’m afraid to die hold on my dear no need to be so scared the truth of life is such a simple way so go on and one day you realize that you are here right now oh my child you carry the light and it shines all the darkness away let it shine Let it shine don’t wait for a sermon or a trumpet’s sound The love you seek is not outside (is here inside) child of heaven you carry the light

I could give away my fortune,
Lay my dreams down at your feet,
Build a tower out of kindness On every sorrow that I meet. 
But if my heart is still empty, There’s no meaning in all (All the gold I give away
Won’t bring me solid ground.) If I don’t know the love inside
I have nothing at all,
All the mountains I could move
Would only crumble and fall.
If I don’t know the love inside I walk through fire for glory,
Give my body to the flame,
Let the world remember stories
Of my sacrifice and name. 
But if I don’t know true compassion, I learned nothing at all Let me be more than thought form,
Let me be more than my pride,
Let my heart be wide open
let me know my true self

because you never tried To bow my will because you never tried To break my pride because you ever try To keep me half afraid And nothing of the cave-man made Nor ever with a conquering air You thought to draw me unaware And since the body’s maidenhood Alone were neither rare nor good Take my dreams and take my mind Since you never asked me to Take me, for I love you more Than I ever loved before. Take my dreams and take my mind Since you never asked me to Unless with it I gave to you A spirit still untrammeled, too